


On Lying in Front of Bulldozers

by DaisyFairy



Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Canon typical mention of murder, Towel Day, sherlock does what he wants
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-25
Updated: 2017-05-25
Packaged: 2018-11-04 19:29:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 997
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10997472
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DaisyFairy/pseuds/DaisyFairy
Summary: Just a little scene I wrote in honour of Towel Day 2017 (for Douglas Adams' Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy).Sherlock needs to protect a crime scene.





	On Lying in Front of Bulldozers

"For fucks sake Sherlock. Why?"

"They were going to demolish the crime scene."

"The body was found half a mile over there." John says waving an arm vaguely towards a copse of trees in the distance.

"And was killed here." Says Sherlock stubbornly. "I tracked the killer's footprints over the field and they lead to this lay-by."

"Fine! Fine. But WHY are you lying in a puddle."

"So that these.. gentlemen" (said with a sneer) "cannot drive their bulldozer all over the murder scene destroying the evidence."

"Right, well that is all perfectly logical except for the puddle."

"It is hardly my fault that it rained last night."

"No, but it is your fault that you are in the puddle when you could have just laid two feet away from the bulldozer and been dry."

Sherlock twists his head to the side to look at the dry road surface under John's feet. John spots a split second expression of dismay on his friend's face before Sherlock can rearrange his features. Sherlock opens his mouth and draws breath but John interrupts.

"Don't. Don't even try to make up some very important reason why you had to be right there. You are still getting over your pneumonia from your dip in the Thames last month, the last thing you need is to spend the morning cold and wet." John whisper/shouts at the consulting sodden lump of wool and silk, conscious of an angry looking workman making his way towards them.

Sherlock has the sense to look somewhat abashed, that is until the workman arrives and an epic scowl appears.

"You. Are you with this madman?" The stocky man in a high-vis jacket shouts angrily jabbing stubby fingers at both of them for emphasis "I've been on the phone with my boss, he doesn't know anything about bodies or murders."

"That is because, you imbecile, I have only just discovered that this was the murder scene."Sherlock snaps at him.

"Sherlock." John growls in warning, pulling his phone out. "I'm so sorry for him, just let me make a call, I can get the lead officer on the case here and he can sort this whole thing out."

He dials the number and says "Greg. Hi. I've found him.... Yes I know ...I think you can let them on to the scene now. Sherlock thinks he has found the site of the actual murder, but there's a bit of a problem with some workmen.... We are in a layby on the main road, you'll know the one, there are diggers and bulldozers and idiots lying in the mud... See you in a minute."

The next few minutes are spent in a standoff, the foreman glaring at the two men who were putting his schedule behind; John standing next to Sherlock trying to look nonchalant, as if this sort of thing was an every day occurrence, not that hard to achieve as it is practically true; and Sherlock lying in the muddy puddle, water seeping into his coat and shoes, attempting not to shiver and trying instead to project a (surprisingly successful) imperious demeanor. Meanwhile the bulldozer and digger drivers are sitting on the roadside barrier enjoying their unexpected break, drinking tea and reading the sports pages.

Greg arrives in a squad car, climbs out and just stands blinking at the sight in front of him. A uniformed officer steps out and goes to poke around in the bushes by the road. Greg takes a deep breath, scrubs his hand over his face and steps into the fray.

"DI Lestrade." Greg says showing his ID. "Are you in charge here Mr...?"

"Prosser." The foreman says coldly "I am Mr Prosser, this is my site, and we are trying to get started on this bypass. This pair are disrupting my workforce."

"Ahh, yes. Well I'm afraid this is official police business, you’re going to have to wait until we’ve finished investigating a murder."

"It wasn't him was it?" The foreman says pointing at Sherlock "Wouldn't put anything past that loony."

"No, he is with us, he’s helping us with our investigation."

At that moment the police woman calls out from behind the bush "Sir, I've got blood here."

Sherlock smirks with a "Told you so." expression.

"Right, Mr Prosser, you and your men are going to need to leave, give your details to my officer before you go. Please take your vehicles with you." Greg orders the foreman.

"But, but, I've got a schedule to keep." Mr Prosser says desperately.

"If you have a problem talk to one of my officers, they can arrange for someone to talk to your boss."

Greg turns to the duo of amateur detectives. "Captain Logic and the Masked Enabler" he silently dubs them. Sherlock is still lying in the mud, and John is now crouching down next to him, they are having an animated discussion. In the background he can hear Mr Prosser passing on the information to the work crew, and the men's grumblings about whether they will be paid or not.

"Sherlock, get over there and look at your crime scene then. I'll have to call the forensics in so you won't have it to yourself for long."

Sherlock rises as gracefully as he can, but the entire back of his coat is heavy with water and caked in mud, his trousers are soaked and cling to him and as he takes his first step his shoes make a rather undignified squelching noise. His hair is dripping, filthy drops falling onto his shoulders and further soaking the wool of his coat.

Greg looks on in amazement as John pulls a foldaway microfiber towel out of his inside pocket and passes it to Sherlock who rubs at his hair with it with one hand while bending down to examine the grass and bushes for evidence. 

John catches Greg staring and shrugs his shoulders. "One thing I've learned following Sherlock around. Always bring a towel."

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading, have a lovely towel Day :-)


End file.
